Savage Harbour (aka Death Feud)

SAVAGE HARBOUR (aka DEATH FEUD) (1987)

Written & Directed by: Carl Monson
Starring: Frank Stallone, Christopher Mitchum & Karen Mayo-Chandler

Frank (brother of Sylvester) Stallone and Chris (son of Robert) Mitchum together in one awesome action packed film. Well, no. These two B-movie stalwarts churned out a whole heap of action cheapies between themselves in the 80s and 90s and pretty much any of them (including the fun Stallone vehicle Order of the Eagle and Mitchum’s crazy trash classic Final Score) are better than this boring, sleazy and just plain dull snooze fest. The two not so famous siblings of big movie stars feature as sailors just trying to make a dollar who cross the wrong mob boss when Stallone steals said bad dude’s girl and whisks her off for a life of romance, laughs and, erm, avocado farms! What follows is a white-hot trail of gun blazing revenge.

Again, no. Tedium sets in fairly soon despite a (somewhat) cool, though unintentionally hilarious, shootout on the beach that opens the film as Stallone goes off sailing (well, he’s got to earn a buck) and his Mrs to be slides back into her drugged fuelled and prostitution ridden life. So what follows is what I imagine the makers thought was a hard hitting drama looking at the underbelly of life but is in fact a lot of low budget sleaze nonsense that is equal parts ugly, boring and downright hilarious (seriously, what is that bat shit crazy, drug fuelled dream sequence all about???). And what about Chris Mitchum? What part does he play in all this drama, mystery and action? Erm, squat all! Seriously, I have no idea why he was in this as he barely helps out Stallone, sits in a bar most of the time and has his own dull subplot featuring him and a busty stripper finding love. Ugh.

So there are lots of awkward dialogue scenes, random edits, lots and lots of walking around deserted streets and parking lots, a fair amount of sleaze, a hilarious moustached henchman who just laughs loudly and weirdly every time he either speaks or is spoken to and a whole lot of random B-movie craziness. The last twenty minutes manages to cram in a couple of barmy car chases and a good dose of low budget gunplay action but it ain’t enough to save Savage Harbour from being a dull drudge through B-movie crapness. I expected more from an action film featuring Frank Stallone and Chris Mitchum. Silly me.